Family Holidays
by Shinigamispit
Summary: It's Ed and Al's first Christmas after Al's body had been restored and Roy wants a perfect holiday. Yaoi Roy x Ed Disastrous holiday


Disclaimer: I do not own FMA if I did Hughes would never die and Roy would never be totally _ (insert spoiler for manga and brotherhood here) at the end of the promised day

Warnings: This fic contains YAOI, yes, sexy males getting busy in the sheets

Another warning: this is a Roy x Ed fic with a hint of Jean x Riza and Al x Winry later on. This is rated NC-17 and it does contain rimming and a Semen fetish to go along with it. And as an afterthought this also takes place after Al gets his body back.

Family Holidays

Roy had never really had a lover during Christmas nevertheless anyone living with him during Christmas before. It was honestly stressing him out.

"Sir you need to work or you will be here all night." Riza pointed the gun at his head.

"At that point I should tell you to pull the trigger and put me out of my misery." He laid his head on the paper covered desk with a load 'thunk' attracting the attention of the rest of the office.

Riza placed the gun back into the hoister. "We all know Ed is sick but get over it."

"It's not that…"

Riza waited to see if she got more of an explanation. "Then what is it?"

"Christmas."

"What's wrong with Christmas."

"I don't do holiday's."

"Yes Sir. We all know that after what happened Harvest holiday"

Roy did remember it so clearly…

Roy gathered all the recipes he could for everything harvest dinner, from mashed potatoes and gravy to ham turkeys and pies. He now stood in 'his kitchen' which only a month earlier had became 'our kitchen'.

His new lover and his brother moved into Roy's 3 story 2 bedroom 1.5 bath 1 car garage townhouse. Roy's storage area which was called the garage had been taken over by the two brother's turning it into an alchemic lab and library. That is where he sentenced them to for their period of a 30 hour starvation time so he could cook in peace. He was confident he could do this.

He started on the pies and cakes. First the almond coffee cake ingredients check. Okay so he forgot to check the beater speed when he turned on the mixer he made a mess so he cleaned it up. Now the cake was going into the oven.

The oven was off…damn. Okay oven on cake will wait for a minute.

He started on the pumpkin pie. After finally getting the little pumpkin cut up he attempted to beat it again but had to clean up a mess again

Reminder to self check beater speed…

He tried it again. He succeeded finally adding the ingredients and pouring it into the crust. He sat it down next to the cake

Oh shit the cake… he snatched it and shoved it into the oven. He wound up with some if it on him as well. He washed his hand for what seemed to be the 50th time that day. Okay timer for 55 minutes.

Okay now for the pecan pie he measured the ingredients and mixed added it to the crust and sat it beside the pumpkin pie.

Okay he knew that Ed wouldn't eat it but he attempted a cheesecake as well

This went pretty well until he looked at it in the pan it didn't look like it should…oh well. It was soon time for the cake to come out he let it cool placing the pecan pie in the oven at a slightly higher temperature. He let the cake cool. Then when he felt the pan was nearly room temperature he flipped it over. He was excited it was his first cake. He pulled the pan up and… no cake, he flipped the pan over to make sure it was there, he slammed the pan down a bit harder this time he lifted the cake pan and only seen half the cake on the island counter…

He tried to bounce the stubborn bread from the pan he could piece it together to make it look decent then it finally released tumbling onto the floor. Okay now only half a cake was there but it looked good. Maybe he needed to call Gracia early tomorrow to see if she can make it look nice.

Gracia and Elysia were already the invited to the cook off. The boys wanted a Harvest Feast in their new home with Roy. Roy was more than happy to make them happy. They had been his subordinates for several years now and knew of most of the happenings of the boys lives. They deserved to be happy for once and they wanted to share this time with Gracia and Elysia as well as him.

He started to the turkey marinade and nearly spilt some cayenne pepper from the shelf above it or at least he didn't see any fall into it. Well he started injecting the watery substance into the turkey it had to marinade at least 4 hours before cooking. He washed the injector and started on the ham He was doing this one just for Ed he beat the orange and pineapple juice together with melted brown sugar and a touch of lemon and some salt. It sounded good at least. He repeated the injecting process to the ham until the smell of something burning reached his nostrils.

Oh shit the pie…

He took the burnt pastry out of the oven.

Okay maybe they could peel off the pecans and put fresh ones on there and nobody will notice…maybe

He stuck the last pie into the oven. Set the timer and finished the ham putting the ham and turkey in the Ice box.

He managed to cook all night like that nearly burning the turkey and ham but not quiet to where it was inedible. He was tired and Ed preoccupied him for a bit so he didn't get the turkey out in time then he nearly forgot about the ham when Gracia arrived. Who scolded him for not being in the kitchen watching it. She was in the middle of fixing the almond coffee cake when she asked what smelled like it was burning. He whipped the Ham out putting the turkey in again for a few minutes to rewarm it, Gracia meanwhile finished the mashed potatoes and gravy.

He was soon cutting the ham he tasted it and was satisfied except it was a bit dry. He cut the turkey after putting the stuffing in. He tasted it after cutting it up.

Roy snatched the piece Gracia was about o take a bite of and put it in the garbage with his mouthful right after. He snatched the milk jar and chugged it down.

Gracia looked at him. "What's wrong?"

"Hot."

"Well it did just get out of the oven."

"No it's spicy."

"How bad?"

"pretty bad."

She started to go through the cabinets and fridge pulling odds and ends out to there.

She mixed a bit together in a little bowl grabbing the meat, dipping it and giving it a taste. She dipped it into the sauce and put it in front of his nose. He took it from her and took a bite.

"Much better."

The rest of the meal went great after Gracia fixed everything she could sadly the burnt pecan pie and the crustless cheesecake (yes he forgot the graham cracker crust) didn't make the cut this time.

Roy learned several things in those two days in the kitchen; always check the beater speed before starting the mixer; make sure to set a timer; make sure you keep the spice cabinets closed; make sure to follow directions on the recipes; always make sure there is more than one person tending the cooking; never leave the kitchen for more than a couple minutes; get Gracia to fix any problems before hand. The two most important pertained to the two brothers; under no circumstances should you ever forcibly withhold food from either or sex from the elder brother. The two boys cleared the table almost by themselves then went I the kitchen after the burnt cheesecake and pecan pie. He had earlier that day tried to withhold sex and burnt the turkey then again with the ham if Gracia hadn't of arrived.

It seemed too soon to be going through it all again. It had only been 27 days since then, and this time it was going to be even worse with not only Ed, Al, Garcia and Elysia but Winry and granny Pinako would be there as well this time. Christmas was now only 2 days away and all their guests would be arriving tonight.

"We hadn't even had the chance to decorate since Ed has been laid out with the flu for almost a week so our holiday shopping trip has been postponed. We need lights, a tree, ornaments, tree skirt gift wrap; they want some of the fake snow stuff for the window s and stockings and…" Roy grew silent. He felt the cold barrel of a gun at his temple.

"Get up."

If he was killed Ed would more than likely try to bring him back just to kick his ass for ruining their holidays. He did as she said she grabbed at his rear pocket.

"If Ed seen that he would kill you."

She took the wallet an opened it taking several items out of it. "Havoc, get Christmas stuff for the Elric-Mustang Household and be reasonable and think of Ed and Al about what they would like to have. Sir have you gotten your present shopping done?"

"Just some of Ed and Al's I haven't done anything for the office yet." She holstered the gun again. "Boy's get you something nice compliments of this idiot and Havoc grab this for me." She scribbled something on a piece of paper.

"Will you do me another favor and grab a package from this store just be sure it gets wrapped in 12 or so boxes before bringing it home. It's for Ed and I want him to work for it since it is the best present he's getting this year."

The men all but ran out of the office tripping over one another to leave.

"Now sir that is taken care of get back to signing, I have a phone call to make." She walked over to make the call he heard it the whole conversation, she was letting Al know to hide Ed while the others were there. He figured Ed was already doped up on the flu meds, all Al had to do was close the bedroom door and problem solved.

It was nearly 10 when Roy had gotten home that night. He walked in and looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings. Tinsel hung everywhere the large Christmas tree barely missed the ceiling by less than a quarter of an inch. The box beside it was nearly as tall. The noises of women cooking came from the kitchen.

"If brother seen you standing there with someone else he would be pissed, sick or not." Al chimed from the stairway that went up to the top floor.

Roy looked above him seeing the mistletoe lurking above the doorway. He swiftly chose to move out from under it.

"We put it up to aggravate Havoc and Riza." Al was smiling.

"How is he feelling." He gestured upstairs.

"Very tired, we left right after you did this morning and got back right before the others got here he was already knocked out and I've kept him that way at the request of the women in the house. Oh and he is insisting that you marinade the ham and the girls cook it this time he said you nearly killed it last time but he still loved it."

"It was his fault I didn't hear the timer for the ham."

Al laughed at the bottom of the stairs. "What did you get him that is in this box? It's huge. It's not a sex doll is it?"

Roy stopped to analyze the question. "I can assure you it is not a sex doll he has me for that and the objet in that box is much smaller than you think." Roy walked into the hen house that was the kitchen.

"Good evening ladies how are all of you today." He wanted to go ahead and start the ham so he could get a shower then into bed to start the next day. He was amazed at the amount of food stuffed into his icebox he had simply never seen it that full.

He gathered the ingredients and mixed them then put it into the ham every last drop went into it. He finished and washed his hands then took a piece of the cake that one of the girls had started eating off of before he high-tailed it out of sight and into the safety of his bedroom.

Ed was lying asleep on the bed when he went into the shower.

"Roy," Ed called for him. "Roy is that you."

He came out in his towel a moment later; kissing his lover on the forehead. "You're not running a fever anymore that's good."

Ed grabbed the towel and pulled the man on top of him. Their lips caught in a passionate kiss Roy started working on ridding Ed of his sleep pants. He worked them all the way off of him. He ground his hips into the younger man.

"Are you sure you feel up to this?"

"I'm already up to this" He pulled Roy into a fiery kiss.

"No you're not pipsqueak."

Ed kept Roy from moving off of him. Roy was blushing from head to toe.

"Get out of my room ya old hag."

"Pipsqueak you have guests in the house and it is rude for you to be seen or heard screwing around."

Roy pulled off of Ed. "she's right and I don't want you sick on Christmas either."

"Damn you old hag. The second you get out of my house I'm getting laid. You here that damn hag!"

Roy laughed getting his sleep pants on and heading downstairs.

He found some sandwich stuff after digging through the ice box he ran them upstairs to eat with Ed.

"Roy I'm bored can you sneak downstairs and get me some book since we can't fool around?"

"I take it you are banned from down stairs."

"Yeah they have been starving me all day and are afraid I'll eat everything." Ed took the last bite out of his third sandwich.

Roy rushed down the stairs into the kitchen where Pinako and Gracia were putting some final touches on a cake.

"What do you think you are doing kid!"

Roy stopped and looked at Pinako "You can't confine a teenager in a room with nothing to do. I still would like to have a house on Christmas day. I'm just getting his pile of books and taking them up to him."

"Good you're sleeping on the couch tonight Ed and Al will sleep in your room. Winry and I will be in the library and Gracia and Eliysia will be in Al's room."

"Agreed." Roy opened the door to the staircase going down the library. He quickly shut it when he heard a familiar sound. But the sound was normally coming from his and Ed's bedroom he peeked around the wall at the bottom of the stairs realizing it was Al and Winry. Al really did sound almost like his brother. He had to get the books and head back upstairs; if he went up without them Pinako would be suspicious. He stalked over to the pile picking up the first 5 on the top. Al spotted him on the way out. Roy put his finger to his mouth to silence al from saying anything and up the stairs he went.

He dropped off the books and headed to his temporary bed.

The next morning he found himself woken up by a little girl dive bombing on his chest. "Uncle Roy!"

Roy rarely moved from his temporary bed all day long. He enjoyed the lazing around for once. Not screwing around the house all day, literally.

"ROY I'M HUNGRY." The voice up the stairs called out to him.

Roy was defeated. He gathered as much food from the fridge as he could and grabbed a bag of chips from the pantry. He headed upstairs acting as if he hadn't heard the women protesting.

He heard three voices from the room. "Hey I brought food!"

The younger three in the room cheered sharing the big bed with the fourth.

The next morning Roy woke to Eliysia bouncing on his chest again."Uncle Roy; It's Christmas It's Christmas." He sat up cradling the jumping girl in his arms. The house was already starting to become alive, he noticed his subordinates sitting at the dining room table talking Jean had Riza on his lap taking up a single chair between them Breda, Falman, Fuery, and Al where chatting amongst themselves as Pinako, Winry and Gracia set the table. Even Izumi and Sig had decided to make a for once quiet entrance, but one important person was missing.

"Al, Where's Ed?"

"Still asleep he's in a bad mood and I wasn't into getting hurt this early in the morning."

"Oh thanks so let my handsome face get mauled."

"Yep."

Roy made his way up to his bedroom. "Ed, Al said you are in a bad mood?"

Ed made no movement. Roy relaxed some, he locked the door behind him; and moved the tall dresser in front of the door. It normally kept most of their noises in the room and he hoped it would work now. They kept it there for Al sanity since Ed could get rather loud sometimes. He snaked under the covers a hand on each ankle one metallic, one flesh. He trailed his hands up the nearly hairless leg.

"Uhn… morning Roy."

Roy pulled on the waistband of Ed's pants signaling for him to lift his hips. The pants and boxers were made quick work of; Roy opened Ed legs pushing the knees to the bed. His lover was very flexible and he loved to move and bend him into the most unusual of positions. He shoveled his nose under Ed's sack smelling the soap from his shower last night he tasted the hole he had not been in for almost two weeks. He inserted his tongue into the hole reminding him of the same taste it had the first time. He was clean with no flavor of their yummy lubes or of Roy's own seed. That always turned him on and he missed it now.

"Can you get to the drawer?"

Ed handed him the bottle of lube without having to fish it out. He knew it was Roy's favorite they mixed it themselves half strawberry half pomegranate and a touch of cherry and vanilla.

"You and Al planned this didn't you?" He inserted his thumbs into Ed watching him tense. Ed always hated Roy's sharp little nails gouging into his inner wall found a way around it but Ed had to take in both thumbs at the same time. He squirted the mixture into Ed's opening; moving his thumbs in and out spreading them apart rotating them slowly around the hole.

"Roy we don't have long the others are waiting."

Roy snapped out of his intense thought. He was here to drag his lover downstairs, but not just yet. He traveled up till his face was even with Ed's. Claiming him in a kiss, he then leaned up giving Ed a full view of his bare torso. Ed pulled at the waistband of Roy's pants freeing his erection; he offered the palm of his hand to Roy. Roy squirted the pink liquid into Ed's palm letting him slather both of them in the gel before he licked the remaining from his hand. Roy placed himself at Ed's entrance and pushed slowly in till the hilt. Ed looked Roy in the eyes and took his own middle finger and sucked on it licking the cooling gel from the digit. Roy moved in Ed slamming into him hard enticing sweet pleas from the man below him he continued the pleas never forming any true words. He continued to pound into his little blonde lover till he nearly screamed before seizing into him spilling his seed into him; Ed painted his chest with the creamy fluid that Roy loved so much.

Roy leaned over kissing Ed, then trailing down to clean up the boy beneath him. He licked down the chest cleaning every drop then the softened member he took a swift suck cleaning it. He lifted his lover's hips and licked his own seed from the leaking opening.

"As much as I like you cleaning me up we really need to get downstairs before they lock me away permanently."

A grunt and movement was his only reply. They dressed in record time and almost ran downstairs. Ed stopped when he noticed the many decorations and the twelve other people sitting in the living room waiting for him to go down the stairs. He was almost toppled by the other man who was also the one keeping from collapsing. Roy watched tears roll down Ed's face before he turned and looked at Roy.

"This is why I wasn't allowed downstairs for two days wasn't it."

"Yes and we all did it for you, everyone here loves you and your brother. It is after all his first Christmas back in his body."

"Family…"

Roy looked at Ed. "Yes it is our dysfunctional, mismatched, mostly genetically unrelated group of people that are close enough to us to call a family. Now poor Elysia has been waiting for you all morning so she can open her presents after we take one good picture."

Everyone piled in front of the Christmas tree there were present in the front of the picture and one large behind everyone next to the huge tree. Ed looked down at Elysia in front of him holding a picture frame nearly as big as she was it contained Hughes' pictures inside. Al was to his left with an arm around his older but shorter brother. He looked above him to see Roy's smiling mug looking down at him he leaned in to kiss Ed while everyone was trying to stop him. Their lips met and the camera flashed.

"Aw common you two keep your hand off of one another." Breda complained.

They reset for the picture the camera flashed and it was over Elysia dove for the presents. Everyone watched as the little girl enthusiastically ripped into each present. She was done and over in less that fifteen minutes and pulled Havoc over for toy assembly duty. Riza watched him contently playing with the girl, but only Ed and Roy seen the subtle gesture of her hand brush against the slim stomach then back up into the usual crossed position. Ed Roy looked at each other walking over to each side of her whispering a soft 'congratulations' in her ear.

They watched as everyone opened their present's; camera lights flashing left and right.

"Ed we want to see what's in the huge box, open it!"

"He has to wait till last for that one."

Ed opened the rest of the presents saying may thanks to everyone. Then he sleepily eyed his target. It was past nap time and he wanted that present opened.

He peeled the present open stripping it of every last piece of paper then ripping the tape ff and fishing through the paper to find… another box.

"You bastard"

Ed handed the box to Jean who then quickly made a playhouse out of it for Eylisia.

He was on his sixth box when he fell into it while fishing for another box. Everyone waited for him to move and he just laid there

"Ed?" Roy peared into the box to find his lover sleeping in the crumpled newspaper; he waved for a camera received one and took s few different angles of photographs then hopped into the box beside Ed. He too napped till Ed woke him.

"When did you get in here?"

Everyone crowded around the box once more.

"The same way you did."

"Why were you sleeping in it?"

"Ed you fell asleep in it before I did."

Everyone laughed at the two. Ed continued through the boxes.

Soon boxes and newspaper was everywhere till a tiny box the size of Ed's palm was left. "24 fucking boxes what the hell Mustang."

That's the last one I promise."

Ed looked around the room everyone seemed inches from his face, including the box on the now tipsy Havocs head.

"Sir Box head, we must investigate the mysterious box the prince has to make sure it is safe." Elysia and Jean inched in closer still

"Yes Lady Eylisia we must protect him." Jean lost balance and fell into Ed's lap but had missed Eylisia.

Ed completely ignored the scene going on around his lap he was looking at the contents of the tiny box. He glanced up to Roy and waited for his lap to become unoccupied. Said lap freshly cleared he stood before Roy.

Roy took the box and looked at them. "I can't really legally ask you to marry me but you can become part of my legal family. How about it?"

Ed was speech less. All he could do was cry and kiss his lover passionately till a fist connected to his skull.

"DAMN PIPSQUEK IDIOT, SPEAK." Izumi knew how to get her point across.

He stood up "Yes Roy I would love to be a part of your family."

Roy took the smaller ring and slid it on Ed's finger. Ed copied the same movement then looking the ring over on Roy's finger, the platinum band shone brilliantly on Roy's finger the shiny red stone was clear as day and not tinge of pink to it. His was the perfect match to the other an identical twin.

"There will never be another stone like this one and only three stones were cut from it yours mine and Al's necklace he got earlier."

"They are perfect"

Dinner went smoothly and between the fourteen people the meal was devoured in one night. The next morning all the guest left and Al decided to go back with Winry and Pinako. The door closed on the last guest and the two stood alone in the hallway.

"What did you do to Al to make him want for me and you to get together yesterday morning?"

"What makes you think that I did something?"

"Just do."

"I did catch him and Winry in the library the other day."

"Oh..."

Roy started to slink away.

"Wait you seen what!"

Roy ran for his life with Ed trailing on his heels.

Wow I just finished both my holiday fics in one day. That's 14 hours of writing and taking care of a boisterous 3 year old. Yeah I feel sorta beat. Well read and review, tell me if you liked it. I was thinking of continuing this as a mpreg since it was more family orientated than I am used to writing. Pm me and tell me what you think should I make a mpreg sequel to Holidays.


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